


Heart of a Lion [REWRITE]

by justwhatialwayswanted



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Regulus Black, First War with Voldemort, Fix-It, Gen, Good Regulus Black, Gryffindor Regulus Black, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor Character Death, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Regulus Black, Regulus Black Lives, Regulus Black-centric, and potentially more archive warnings (not sure how violent it'll be yet), background jily and wolfstar, i highly dislike jkr but i'm not letting her ruin hp fic for me since it doesn't make her any money, more characters and relationships to be added, so many regulus tags omfg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29542353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justwhatialwayswanted/pseuds/justwhatialwayswanted
Summary: Eleven-year-old Regulus Black has decided he is not going to Slytherin.That decision sparks a chain reaction of Dark Lord-defying proportions.
Relationships: Marauders & Lily Evans Potter, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Regulus Black & Narcissa Black Malfoy, Regulus Black & Sirius Black
Comments: 40
Kudos: 103





	1. Eleven

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Heart of a Lion [OLD]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7557562) by [justwhatialwayswanted](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justwhatialwayswanted/pseuds/justwhatialwayswanted). 



> Note: I don't feel like phrasing this eloquently. JKR's views are garbage. Trans women are women. If you disagree, I don't want you reading any of my work.
> 
> So this is a rewrite of an old work of mine by the same title--I've improved a lot as a writer and decided it was time to come back and get this fic a little closer to my vision!
> 
> If you've read the old version, here's what to expect: basically the same plot, with some more hurdles thrown in along the way, better writing (sorry 15-year-old me, it had to be said), and alternating between war chapters and shorter Hogwarts chapters. The Hogwarts interludes weren't in the OG, but I've decided they're necessary to connect 11-year-old Regulus of the beginning with 19-year-old Regulus of the war.
> 
> Attempting to update once a week, but the specific day of the week is anyone's guess.

When Regulus gets on the train to Hogwarts, his parents do not wave goodbye. They nod at him and Apparate back to Grimmauld Place almost before he's pulled his trunk onto the train behind him.

It's nothing more than he expected. Last year, Regulus was permitted to wave to Sirius, but only because he was young. He's eleven now and supposed to behave more maturely.

More maturely than Sirius, at any rate, which isn't saying much.

Regulus stays out of the way at home, and this summer had been no exception. His parents want him to go to Slytherin. His cousins want him to go to Slytherin. His grandparents probably want him to go to Slytherin, although they're subtle about it. Not like Bella, who's always telling Regulus it's his job to  _ do better,  _ or even Cissy, who talks to him nonstop about how nice the common room is and how elegant their uniforms are compared to the other houses.

Maybe Andy wouldn't have pestered him so much, but Regulus doubts he'll ever know one way or the other.

Anyway, they all want him to go to Slytherin, except Sirius, who wants anything but. Regulus isn't sure what he wants, but he knows he isn't pleased by the idea of everyone telling him where to go. He wants to be Sorted according to where he, Regulus, belongs, not according to where his family does.

Regulus pulls the crumpled bit of parchment out of the pocket of his robes and smoothes it out.

This is the first step.

He'd hesitated to accept Sirius's invitation to sit with him on the train. Being with Sirius is not exactly a clean slate. Regulus has been in the same rooms and houses and parties as Sirius all his life. However, Sirius and his friends are the only people on this train who aren't expecting Regulus to go to Slytherin.

At least, they're the only people who aren't certain of it.

That's good enough for Regulus.

Sirius had given him directions to his usual compartment, and Regulus scrutinizes them now. Sirius's handwriting has gotten worse since he left for Hogwarts. Actually, perhaps it's gotten better. It's less elegant, but much easier to read.

He picks up his trunk and starts walking.

The train is crowded, everyone in the aisle looking for their friends. Regulus doesn't want to shove his way through, so he slips through gaps, trying not to jostle people, keeping his head down, disappearing into the crowd for what may very well be the last time he can.

Naturally, it doesn't last.

He's made it about halfway to the compartment Sirius noted down when heels clack against the floor behind him and Cissy's voice says, "Hello, Regulus."

Regulus turns. "Hello, Narcissa."

Cissy is smiling, the close-lipped, careful smile of a Black in public, but she lets a bit of warmth show. Her Head Girl badge is pristine, and she's wearing a matching barrette in her hair. "Are you looking for somewhere to sit? I believe Poppea Rookwood has arrived."

Regulus does not like Poppea. He knows she's encouraged to practice a mask of polite indifference in public, of course—he is too—but Poppea overcompensates and projects more supercilious apathy than anything else. And she kicked her cat once for scratching her.

"Barty got on the train before me to find an empty compartment," Regulus lies.

Cissy nods. "Wonderful."

Of course it is. Barty will probably be a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw, and if Regulus ends up in the same house as him, he has determined that they could be acquaintances. The Crouch family isn't anywhere near as old as most of the people Regulus is encouraged to spend time with, but Barty's father is climbing ranks quickly at the Ministry, so it's permitted.

Regulus isn't sure he likes Barty that much either, but at least he's not annoying, just a bit dull.

"I'll see you at the Sorting, then," Cissy says, with a sort of glint in her eye that Regulus imagines is meant to be conspiratorial, as if they all know what will happen to him at the Sorting. "Would you like a Featherlight charm for your trunk?"

"No, thank you, Father did one already." Regulus smiles, because even if Cissy wants him to be a Slytherin, at least she's nice. "Have a nice trip."

"You as well." She steps around him and sets off toward the prefect compartments, robes swirling behind her. Cissy is tall enough that people notice her when she's coming. She doesn't have to wait for anyone to get out of her way.

That's settled. If Cissy ever finds out Regulus didn't sit with Barty on the train, it'll already be too late for her to do something about it. Anyway, he thinks she'd understand him sitting with Sirius. Everyone knows Cissy misses Andy the most.

It's good Bella has graduated already. She sneers at Sirius. (She's probably jealous that he's still the heir even though he's a Gryffindor.)

Regulus keeps walking.

He hears Sirius before he sees him, voice raised like he's talking over his entire compartment.

"And  _ then— _ no, James, I said we're bloody getting there—Bella said she thought Malfoy would waste his whole fortune by the time he turns thirty."

Oh, yes. Regulus knows this story.

He walks a bit faster and tucks the parchment back into his pocket. He doesn't need directions when Sirius's voice is practically a beacon.

"And Cissa hexed her skin green for being jealous that Malfoy has a fortune in the first place. That's verbatim." Someone laughs as Sirius keeps talking. "And Bella couldn't remove it for a  _ week. _ And I bribed Reg to get a picture, since he's sneaky—"

Regulus knocks on the door to their compartment and slides it open.

Sirius, lying on one of the benches with his feet kicked up on the wall, looks up and grins. "Fabulous timing."

The other people in the compartment look up at Regulus in eerie unison, like how Andy and Bella used to say the same thing at the exact same time.

He's never met any of these people before, but he can guess, based on Sirius's descriptions. James Potter looks like he just rolled out of bed. (He's shoved almost entirely to one end of the bench he and Sirius are sharing, so Sirius can lie down, but James doesn't look like he cares.) The short boy by the window must be Peter Pettigrew, open curiosity on his round face. Thus, by process of elimination, the tall, thin one closest to the door is Remus Lupin. He looks guarded. Huh.

There's also a tawny owl in a cage between Pettigrew and Lupin, which Regulus doesn't know anything about, but he's fairly sure it's not important.

"Hello," Regulus says. He does not shift his feet nervously. He hasn't done that since he was eight. It's tempting, though.

Sirius gets up and claps a hand on Regulus's shoulder before levitating his trunk up onto the rack. "Didn't get lost, did you?"

"Narcissa intercepted me. I told her I was sitting with Barty Crouch."

Sirius raises his eyebrows.

Regulus shrugs. "I didn't want to get another speech about how Slytherin is so much better than all the other houses in every possible way, especially Gryffindor. Do you know, I think she might be hinting that she wants me to go to Slytherin."

"Impossible to be sure, since she's so subtle about it and all." Sirius plops back down on the bench, properly this time, which leaves space for Regulus to sit near the door. "Everyone, this is Regulus, upon whose shoulders rest my parents' hopes and dreams for our family being the tiniest bit respectable. Regulus, this is James, Peter, James's owl Robert, and Remus."

"Should I be offended Robert was introduced before me?" Remus says dryly.

_ What kind of an owl name is Robert? _ Regulus does not say out loud.

"He's in between you and Peter, I was going in order," Sirius says.

"Right," Regulus says. "I'm the one who should be offended that Sirius thinks I can't tell the difference between an owl and a person."

James laughs and pokes Sirius. "Bit rich of you, considering—"

"Absolutely not," Sirius says loudly. "Peter, tell us about your summer."

They don't talk about the impending Sorting, but eventually the train ride ends, and Regulus leaves the others to cross the lake. He neatly avoids Poppea Rookwood and finds himself sitting with Barty and two girls he doesn't know.

"Rachel Smith," the blonde one says without prompting. "I'm Hufflepuff for sure. This is Athena Jones."

She nods at them. "I'm not sure where I'm going, but my sister's Gryffindor."

"Bartemius Crouch," Barty says, and for approximately the eleventh time Regulus is grateful his name is better than  _ Bartemius. _ "I'll probably be in Ravenclaw or Slytherin."

The girls look at Regulus expectantly, and he decides to get it over with. "Regulus Black, and I don't know."

"Because of your brother?" Rachel Smith says. "My cousin said he got Howlers three times after going to Gryffindor. I wouldn't want that."

"Tactful, Rachel," Athena Jones says.

"I just don't know," Regulus says. "I suppose we'll find out soon enough."

He's started to make up his mind, though, maybe even to hope.


	2. Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we jump 8 years into the future! these chapters will be longer as they concern the main plot. still not committing to an update schedule but i'm hoping new chapters will be posted at least every couple of weeks (so somewhat frequent, but not enough so that i risk falling behind)

They've taken to gathering at James and Lily's. Sometimes, Regulus forgets why. (The apartment he shares with Sirius is in a much better location, after all, and Remus practically lives there too.)

But then Peter turns up in James and Lily's sitting room supporting a woozy Sirius, who's bloodier than they generally prefer, and Regulus remembers.

He should probably be concerned about how accustomed he is to seeing Sirius covered in blood. The first handful of times it had happened, Regulus had barely been able to keep his composure. Now, there's only a sinking feeling in his stomach.

They can't afford for Sirius to be out of commission. He's one of the Order's best duellists, especially since Lily is needed on healing duty more often than not. The Death Eaters have figured that out, though, which makes Sirius a prime target.

"Shit." Lily jumps up from the couch. "What happened?"

"What always happens," Peter says, face drawn. He's taken the war hard, maybe harder than the rest of them. Peter's naivete clung to him for a long time. "Death Eaters. Lucky Padfoot walked out before me. They went straight for him and I managed to take them by surprise."

He limps a little as he walks Sirius into the room. James stands and inserts himself under Sirius's other arm. "Sit down. Did they set a trap?"

Peter lowers himself into a free armchair. "Somehow, yeah."

"The spy." James scowls. "I'm really getting tired of that bastard."

That's an understatement. They can barely complete missions anymore without something going wrong. The spy, whoever they are, clearly has it out for the Marauders—it's a miracle if all of them can get through a week unscathed.

Regulus tries not to think about it too much, though. He doesn't have any good leads, and it'll only destroy his trust in everyone else in the meantime.

"Be tired of them once Sirius is sorted out," Lily says. "Remus, could you grab a Blood-Replenishing Draught, some pain relievers, and..." She looks Sirius up and down. "I don't know, whatever you think might help. Let's get him into the guest bedroom. Regulus, can you manage Peter?"

"Depends on what's wrong with him," Regulus says.

"Knockback Jinx," Peter says. "I fell pretty hard. I think it messed with my ankle. And I got grazed by a Cutting Curse." Now that Peter's not holding Sirius up, Regulus can see the sleeve of his coat is torn and bloodied.

Simple enough. Regulus never found himself grateful for a Cutting Curse before this war started, but of all the spells in the Death Eaters' arsenal, it's one of the easier ones to fix. Peter is not, even in the most generous of terms, a talented duellist, so he's gotten off lightly. Maybe the Death Eaters expended all of their energy on Sirius. "Yes, I can manage that."

"Good," Lily says, already walking to the guest bedroom with James and Sirius. Remus vanishes to raid the potions cabinet.

Regulus pulls out his wand and crouches by Peter's ankle. It's swollen, he can tell that much. He casts a diagnostic charm. "It looks sprained. Will you need pain relievers?"

"I'll power through," Peter says.

That means it can't hurt very much at all. Peter's not shy about taking pain relievers when he gets hurt—not like Remus, who compares any and all physical pain to a werewolf transformation and decides he's fine, or James, who is inordinately concerned about not wanting Lily to spend more time brewing replacements than she absolutely has to. At least they have justifications, though. Sirius tends to 'power through' in defiance of all sense.

At least Peter's ankle isn't hurt too badly. Regulus taps his wand on the offending joint. " _ Homenum os reparo. _ " The swelling won't go down for an hour or so, but fixing that is more complicated and not particularly useful when the injury itself is healed. "Cutting Curse? Also, tell me more about what happened. Who was after you?"

Peter shrugs out of his coat so Regulus can see the cut. It's not too deep. "Rookwood and Macnair."

They got off easy, then. Thank Merlin for that. Macnair is vicious. "Which Rookwood?"

"Augustus." Peter gives him an odd look. "Why do you always ask that? Nobody's heard even a rumor that Poppea's joined them."

" _ Episkey.  _ I'd like an excuse to hex her." Poppea has not improved with age, and given that Regulus never found a suitable opportunity to express his displeasure while at Hogwarts, he's reduced to hoping he'll come across her in a duel. "Who knew about your mission?"

"Besides all of you? Dumbledore, Moody... Marlene, she left the Portkeys for us... maybe McGonagall." Peter's eyes widen. "Oh, hell, it couldn't be Marlene. She'd never, right?"

"We can't rule anyone out, you know that." Sometimes, Regulus feels like he should get to be the baby of the group, not Peter. It feels odd to be asked to reassure someone who's been fighting in this war almost twice as long as Regulus has. But such is life, and such is Peter, and Regulus would lose patience with being treated like the baby within two hours, so it's for the best. "Besides, regardless of the person, Voldemort has numerous ways of getting people to work for him. Not everyone goes of their own free will."

But the McKinnons narrowly escaped a very well publicized murder attempt a few weeks ago. It would be poor form to make a spy's family an open target, especially if the spy was coerced. What if the attack had succeeded? They'd risk losing a form of leverage.

Unless it was staged, naturally. There are too many variables.

"I guess so," Peter says hesitantly.

Regulus sits back on his heels. Mother always hated him doing that—she took almost personal offense to the creases it leaves in the knees of his trousers, but creases are a minor concern these days. "Do you believe it could be Marlene?"

"I don't want to." Peter sighs, shoulders drooping. "But like you said, we can't rule anyone out, and she's Lily's best friend."

Regulus raises an eyebrow. Something is off about that non sequitur but he's not sure what.

"I mean—" Peter glances around, almost like he's looking for someone to help him. Regulus has seen him do the exact same thing many times, mostly when studying for exams. He's not sure who Peter thinks is going to help him air suspicions. "How many times have we been attacked? The Marauders? Who knows  _ that _ much about what we're doing?"

_ Who indeed? _

Peter isn't waiting for an answer. "Dumbledore and Lily and Moody. That's it. I don't think it's Lily, but don't you think she might be..."

"Telling the wrong person?" Regulus says.

It doesn't sound like Lily, not when she's one of the few people who knows how much damage the spy has done, but Marlene  _ is _ her best friend.

Marlene has her own missions to worry about, though. She hasn't been by to see Lily in a while, and Lily would never write down sensitive information in a letter, regardless of how much she trusts the recipient.

Peter nods. "Yes! Yes, exactly. Of course, nothing's for sure, but—"

"Of course," Regulus interrupts. If he wanted to listen to people equivocate and try to get someone else to say things for them, he'd have asked to go in Slytherin. "So you do believe it's Marlene?"

Peter freezes for half a moment before nodding slowly. "I mean, who else could it be?"

_ Something is not right. _

Regulus bites back his first instinct, which is to point out that actually, it could be many people, because Marlene might have mentioned the mission to someone, who mentioned it to someone else, and so on and so forth.

Instead, he frowns and tries to look despondent instead of suspicious. "I suppose you're right. It's not like it could be Dumbledore. Or any of us."

"Yeah," Peter says, a hair too quickly.

Regulus pastes a sad look on his face and stares at the ground while he thinks.

He grew up with Occlumency. The Blacks didn't approve of other people learning their secrets. Regulus has been able to lie under the influence of Veritaserum since the age of nine, and by his second year at Hogwarts, he'd gotten curious enough to study the counterpart. Legilimency comes easily to him.

However, Regulus isn't exactly in a position to use it frequently. It's an invasive branch of magic, and he really only learned it because his knowledge of mind magic felt one-sided without it. (That, and he'd noticed Severus Snape checking out mind magic books from the library and was determined to be better than him. Blame Sirius.)

The point being, Regulus is  _ extremely _ tempted to use Legilimency on Peter right now. Things just are not adding up. But it's a breach of Peter's mind.

"Fuck," Lily says from the other room. "Remus, help, please?"

And Sirius might be bleeding out because of Peter. So fuck invasions of privacy.

Regulus needs eye contact.

He looks up. "Hey, Peter?"

Peter looks at him, just a tad searchingly. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for telling me."

And Regulus dives in.

Peter’s mind is a whirlwind, jumping from one thought to another like he can’t decide which is the most important. Knowing him, he probably can’t. Regulus spots flashes of memories, all coming to the forefront of Peter’s thoughts for a brief moment before vanishing back into the maelstrom. Peter transforming into his Animagus form for the first time, all of them sneaking out of Hogwarts one night when Regulus was in sixth year and the others in seventh, a sunny afternoon by the Black Lake that Regulus can't place. There’s also a fragment of a song playing in Peter’s head, a brand-new Celestina Warbeck hit that the radio plays about every fifteen minutes.

Regulus isn’t grateful for that last one, as he’s heard My Amortentia (as if it wasn’t bad enough without that atrocity of a title) enough times to quite happily never encounter its opening chords again.

But that’s not all that he sees. Threading through the memories of the Marauders are more recent ones, darker, seeping in at the edges. Sirius falling to the ground, Stunned. Two Death Eaters, one holding an axe, one not, handing over a slip of parchment, a few words exchanged, a carefully aimed Cutting Curse.

Regulus watches the curse flash through the air and dissipate and  _ does not react. _

He can't.

He has to make sure everything seems normal to Peter.

He has to keep his breathing steady, not flinch back or go too still, and above all, not look frightened.

There are more memories with Death Eaters. Regulus can see them flashing by in the background. But he doesn't dare sift through Peter's mind to get to them, not when the others are nearby, distracted and vulnerable.

He needs to make Peter think Regulus knows nothing.

"Are you alright?" Peter says.

Regulus pulls back into his own mind. His hands are trembling. He doesn't know when they started.

Peter's noticed them too, and his face fills with pity. "I know Marlene's important to you."

Regulus sighs. It's true that he and Marlene are friends, mainly by necessity. She was reserve Seeker, so they trained together multiple times a week for years. He'll let Peter think Regulus is distraught over the idea of Marlene being a traitor. After all, he  _ would _ be distraught, if he believed it.

He's not sure what to do. He can't just challenge Peter to a duel in the middle of James and Lily's sitting room, but he can't risk Peter turning anyone against Marlene, either—or realizing Regulus knows.

Regulus clasps his hands together and wills them to stop trembling. "Can we... keep this between us, for now? Maybe try to get some evidence? I don't want to hurl accusations over things that might have legitimate explanations. Once we know for sure, then..."

Peter nods. "I get it. Yeah, we'll keep it quiet."

"Thank you." Regulus stands. "Have you gotten lunch?"

"No." Peter looks a touch too relieved that Regulus has changed the subject. Even if Regulus hadn't used Legilimency, he would have had strong suspicions by now.

"I haven't either, but it might be a while before the others are done. Tea?"

"Sure. Thanks."

Regulus goes to the kitchen, puts the kettle on, and wanders to the loo, then quietly removes a bottle of Dreamless Sleep from the potions cabinet, flushes the toilet, washes his hands, and returns to the kitchen, passing by Peter in the sitting room.

He sets two teacups and saucers on a tray and dumps Dreamless Sleep in them both, silently grateful that it's such a light color. "Two sugars?" he calls toward the sitting room.

"Just one," Peter says.

Regulus adds one sugar to Peter's cup. Normally, he'd pour the tea first, but the water is still boiling and he wants to get this drink mixed and to Peter as fast as possible. He caps the bottle of Dreamless Sleep and slips it into his pocket, then adds teabags, and the water boils.

He holds his breath as he pours the water.

It works. Diluted with water, the Dreamless Sleep looks close enough to milk that Peter won't notice, especially once the tea has steeped for a minute or two.

It might not be enough to knock Peter out, since sleepiness is only a side effect of the potion, but in the worst-case scenario he can Confund Peter and make him drink what's left in the bottle. Lily's Dreamless Sleep is potent, anyway. It won't take much.

Regulus has no idea what he'll do once Peter is asleep, but he'll figure it out when he gets there.

He bobs the teabags around a bit, then takes the tray into the sitting room and hands Peter his cup.

Peter looks at him strangely. "I don't take milk."

It's not hard to look frazzled. Regulus takes a look at Peter's cup, as if just noticing how pale and opaque the tea is. "Oh, Merlin, I'm sorry. I was putting some in mine and I must have forgotten. I can get you another cup."

And just like Regulus knows he will, Peter shrugs and says, "No, don't bother, it's alright." He takes a sip.

Regulus wraps his hands around his own cup and doesn't drink. He needs to distract Peter from observing his cup of tea any more closely. "I just remembered, it's Remus's birthday soon. We should do something. It would be nice to celebrate a day instead of mourning it."

"Oh, yeah, that would be nice."

Regulus wonders if Peter feels any sort of guilt over his actions, if the idea of innocently celebrating the birthday of a friend he's betrayed bothers him in the slightest. If it does, he hides it well.

"What do you think he'd want to do?" Regulus pretends to drink some of his tea. He does not let his hands shake, either from worry or from hurriedly repressed anger that Peter has the nerve to smile like nothing is wrong.

It's probably good Lily doesn't stock poisons. If she did, Regulus knows exactly what he would have poured in that cup. He also knows that he would have calculated the dose precisely for pain, not death.

_ See, Bella? I learned something from you after all. _

Regulus pushes that thought aside and contemplates his tea. It's nice to be holding something warm, even if he can't actually drink any of it. The heat of the cup gives him something to focus on that isn't Peter, or Death Eaters, or Peter and Death Eaters.

Peter takes another sip while he's thinking. "It's Moony, so nothing too big. Maybe invite a few people over and buy out Honeydukes' chocolate section?"

Regulus nods and digs his heel into the floor, because he needs  _ some _ kind of emotional outlet for this conversation. Peter's suggestion is, unfortunately, a good one. Of course it is, because he's been close friends with Remus for  _ years. _ Regulus selects his words before he opens his mouth, to avoid any impulsive disasters. "People like who? All of us, of course."

It needs to be said, to keep Peter in the dark, but it makes Regulus's mouth taste sour. He almost drinks some tea to rid himself of the feeling before remembering he drugged it.

"Dorcas?" Peter says. "They're friends."

Regulus digs his heel into the floor again, because Peter should not be the traitor and still know that sort of information about his presumed friends, much less say it like he cares.

Peter is oblivious to Regulus's battle with the floor. "And Arthur and Molly if they can get away. How many kids do they have now?"

"Five. The youngest are twins." Regulus pretends to drink. Peter mirrors him.

James emerges from the guest bedroom and glances at their teacups. "Is the water still hot?"

"Yes," Regulus says.

"Prongs, who should we invite for Moony's birthday?" Peter says.

"Dorcas," James says on his way to the kitchen. "McGonagall. Absolutely not Moody."

Peter drinks some tea. "Alright. What about Kingsley Shacklebolt?"

"This is starting to become quite a party," Regulus says.

James returns from the kitchen with his own teacup. "I like Kingsley."

"Not your birthday, is it?" Regulus points out.

"Moony likes him too."

Remus steps out from the guest bedroom, followed closely by Lily. "Who do I like too?"

"How's Sirius?" Regulus says immediately.

"He's been better, but he'll live," Lily says. "He's stable and sleeping right now. A day or two of bed rest and then he'll be as fine as any of us are."

"Who do I like too?" Remus repeats.

"Nobody," James says.

Remus raises his eyebrows. "Ah, yes, how could I forget that I'm a total misanthrope?"

"I have a hypothetical question," Regulus says. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Peter tip his cup back. Hopefully he's finished his tea and the potion will kick in soon. "If, for the sake of discussion, it was your birthday soon, how many people would you want at a hypothetical birthday party?"

Remus's eyebrows climb even higher, but a smile pulls at his mouth. "Hypothetically, I would implore my dear friends to throw a party of a size more aligned with Regulus's taste than James's."

"So, ten, maximum," James says.

Remus shrugs. "Sure. Ten."

"We'll be sure to keep that in mind if it ever becomes relevant," Regulus says. "Tea?"

Peter sets his cup and saucer on the end table. "Can I crash somewhere? I think the adrenaline from that fight just left me all at once."

"We don't have a bed free, so just take the couch," Lily says. "I'll cast a Muffling Charm so you can sleep."

"Thanks, Lils." Peter moves over to the couch, lies down, and shuts his eyes. His breathing evens out within moments.

Lily has her wand out, but Regulus holds his hand up. "Could you wait a second?"

Her brow furrows, but she nods.

Regulus sets down his own tea, untouched. He'll have to clean out the cup very thoroughly before actually drinking anything from it. He creeps closer to the couch and says quietly, "Peter? Are you awake?"

Peter doesn't respond. Good. He's really asleep.

"Reg, have you cracked?" James says.

Regulus pulls his wand out.

" _ Regulus," _ James says.

Right. He can't let the others suspect he might be the real spy, framing Peter. That would go badly.

"I have not cracked," Regulus says as calmly as he can. "I have some very important information that you need to hear. It's about Peter, and he can't know that we know, so just to be sure..." He points his wand at Peter slowly, giving the others plenty of time to ask what in Merlin's name he is doing. They don't. " _ Stupefy." _

There. That should keep Peter from waking up on his own.

Regulus picks up his cup. "I need to wash this. Come to the kitchen?"

Lily frowns at him, and Regulus notices she hasn't put her wand away. "Did you drug Peter?"

Regulus hands her the bottle. "Just Dreamless Sleep, I promise."

She unscrews the cap, sniffs it, and nods. "And why did you put him to sleep?"

"Should we talk in the kitchen?" Remus interjects.

"Yes." Regulus goes to wash out his teacup. He's all too aware of Lily, Remus, and James at his back, all three of whom have just watched him Stun Peter after admitting to drugging him.

Regulus knows that he's right. Peter is the traitor. But if he can't convince the others, Peter could turn them against Regulus instead of Marlene. That would be non-ideal, to put it lightly.

He takes a deep breath, sets his cup on the drying rack, and turns to face the others. "I don't think we can trust him."

James's face hardens. "That's a bold statement, Regulus."

"I wouldn't make it if I didn't believe it," Regulus says quietly. He tries to take comfort in the solidity of the counter behind him, but oddly enough it doesn't help much, not when he's as good as cornered. "You know there's a spy. I think it's him. We were talking about the attack, and he tried to make me suspect Marlene."

Lily frowns deeper. "Why her?"

"He says she handled the Portkeys for the mission today."

"She did," Remus says. "Sirius said so too, before they left."

Alright. Regulus isn't sure if that helps or hurts his case, but all he can do is keep going. "I asked him straight out if he thought Marlene was the spy, and Peter is a mediocre liar at best, we all know that. He's too eager to make you believe him." He wishes he hadn't dumped out his tea, just so he would have something to do with his hands. "So I..."

"Drugged him," James says, still with that hard look on his face. What kind of mental math is he doing to determine whether he will trust Regulus or Peter?

"For Merlin's sake, it was less than a teacup's worth of Dreamless Sleep, he'll be fine. And no. I mean, yes, I did, but that wasn't the first thing I did." Regulus sighs. If his friends are going to disapprove of him using Legilimency on Peter, then they're going to disapprove. There's not much he can do, not when his argument hinges on it. If only Sirius were awake. "I used Legilimency on him."

Regulus waits for James to make some sort of comment, but he just folds his arms and waits.

Remus buries his hands deep in his pockets. Regulus does not think about whether he's preparing to take his wand out. "What did you see?"

"I think it was the fight." Not that Regulus can be positive it was even the fight that happened today. But he can't doubt what he's seen, only how he's interpreting it, so he carries on. "Peter told me Rookwood and Macnair were there. I saw Sirius being Stunned and one of the Death Eaters giving Peter a piece of parchment. I think it was Rookwood."

"They weren't masked?" James says.

"They were, but the other one has that axe Macnair carries around everywhere."

James nods grudgingly. Regulus isn't sure why it matters, but he takes the win. "They talked a bit, but I didn't hear what they were saying. I don't suppose you have Veritaserum handy?" he adds to Lily.

She raises her eyebrows. "I'm a trainee Healer, not a Potions master. I don't just keep Veritaserum around."

"You told us you can lie under Veritaserum," James says.

"Not for me," Regulus clarifies. "For Peter."

"He might still have that parchment on him," Remus says.

"Why are you all just  _ accepting _ this?" James says. Regulus has no doubt he's ready to grab his wand. "I'd think you would be a little more disturbed by the idea of Peter betraying us."

An awkward silence descends.

Regulus does not shift from foot to foot. "I didn't suspect him until we were talking today. I knew there was someone. We all did."

Remus stares at the floor and admits quietly, "I thought it was Sirius. I'm hoping to be proven wrong."

"You—" James sighs. "I can't believe this. You thought it was  _ Padfoot? _ Have all of you been going around suspecting each other of being the traitor this whole time?"

"It had to be one of us," Regulus says. "We can barely make a single move without getting caught by Death Eaters. The only people who know that much about what we're doing are us and Dumbledore."

Remus nods. "They know exactly where we're going to be most of the time. If they knew that much about anyone else in the Order, don't you think Moody, at least, would be dead by now?"

"Let's test your theory, Regulus." Lily aims at Peter's sleeping form on the couch. " _ Accio _ parchment from Rookwood."

Nothing happens, and Regulus hopes he hasn't just destroyed the others' trust in him, but then something rustles and a slip of parchment, folded over twice, comes out of Peter's pocket.

It flies into Lily's hand.

Remus opens his mouth, but whatever he's about to say is cut off by Lily hissing " _ Fuck" _ and dropping the paper. Her palm is a red so dark it's almost purple. "It burned me. Don't touch it."

"How bad?" James flicks his wand at the doorway, and a pot of burn paste sails through a moment later. Regulus feels the familiar flicker of irritation at James's casual wordless spells. The rest of them had to practice for weeks to be even half decent.

While James and Lily are dealing with Lily's burn, Remus crouches and pokes at the innocent-looking parchment with his wand. After a couple of attempts, he successfully flips it over. Both sides are blank.

"Well." There's an eerie sort of numbness creeping up Regulus's legs, eerie because it doesn't even have the slightest whiff of magic about it. It's simply his body giving up. He slides down to sit on the floor. "That's as good as an admission of guilt, isn't it?"

Remus stares at the parchment for a long moment. Then he stands and says, too calmly, "I am going to kill him."

Here is where Regulus falters.

Peter is the spy. There is little to no doubt. He has betrayed the Order and put his friends in nearly-lethal danger time and time again.

But he's  _ Peter. _ Regulus has always felt a kind of subtle kinship with him. If anyone has ever been on the outskirts of the Marauders, it is the two of them—Regulus, by virtue of being younger, and Peter, by virtue of nearly always being one step behind, or so Regulus thought. There is delicacy to their positions in the group. Regulus is aware, perpetually, that they were his brother's friends first. Peter was the fourth boy in the dormitory, and Regulus has always assumed Peter remembers his origins as an outsider.

James and Sirius are the sun to all of their planets, of course, the first two to join together as  _ Marauders, _ and the rest of them—Remus, Peter, Regulus, and now Lily—orbit around them. Regulus has always imagined that his and Peter's orbits are a little further than the others'.

He does not want to spare Peter. But he cannot let Remus kill him. Peter cannot be gone, because Peter needs to answer for what he has done.

Regulus stands. "No, you're not."

"I beg your pardon?" Remus says.

"You're not going to kill him."

Remus tilts his head, coolly disbelieving, and Regulus revises. "Not yet, at least. We need him alive. We need to know what his orders are, and what that parchment says. Besides, we should all have a say in what happens to him. Is Sirius even awake?"

That successfully distracts Remus. "I'll go check on him."

Regulus is tempted to follow him to the guest bedroom, just to make sure Remus doesn't commit murder on the way, but Lily says, "I'll go with you, I left the bandages in there." She frowns at her hand, which is shiny with burn paste and still too red for comfort. "I'm sick of all this."

_ Aren't we all. _

James puts the lid back on the burn paste with a deep scowl and sinks to the floor. "Everything about this is so bloody unfair. We've spent almost half our lives looking out for him. How does he repay us? The worst way he  _ possibly  _ can."

"Short of murdering you in your bed," Regulus says. "He hasn't managed that one."

James fixes the sitting room with a dark look. "Who knows what he might be planning?"

Regulus doesn't have an answer to that.

James doesn't seem to require one, though. His face clears. "He could be under Imperius, though. Would you be able to tell with Legilimency?"

Regulus hesitates, then decides to hedge. Peter seemed clear-minded, as much as he could be, but if Regulus is too vehement and then proves to be wrong, it'll go badly for him. "I've never used Legilimency on someone under Imperius, so I don't know. It didn't seem like there was someone controlling his actions, but I suppose I can't be sure."

James nods. "Then I want to talk to him. If he's under Imperius, we should be able to figure it out with the right questions, and maybe Dumbledore will know a way to snap him out of it. In the worst-case scenario... he should get the chance to own up to what he's done."

"He won't, though. Not if he thinks he might be able to escape." Or pin everything on Regulus.

"Then it falls on us to let him know he can't." James's voice is steely.

He's chosen his side, then. Regulus's word over Peter's. At least for now. And if it turns out Peter  _ is _ somehow under Imperius, Regulus hasn't damaged anyone's trust in him.

If Regulus were a better person, maybe he'd be saddened by the idea of any of the Marauders having to choose between them. But he isn't. He's just relieved.

The time to grieve his friend Peter will come later. Possibly never. His fate will go in the same shadowy box in Regulus's mind holding Fabian and Gideon Prewett, and Portia Cresswell, and Regulus's childhood friends who have found their way to Lord Voldemort's side. After the war is over, perhaps Regulus will open it. For now, it stays firmly shut, where not even a Legilimens the likes of Dumbledore or Voldemort can access it.

And if he never opens it, well, such is war. There is always something more important to be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooo shit peter! u fucked up!
> 
> (my professors *all* decided tomorrow is the perfect time to give an exam, so while regulus has not cracked, i may have perhaps a little bit. eek)
> 
> thank you for reading!  
> -love, birl<3


	3. Eleven

Regulus pays very little attention to Professor McGonagall's speech before the Sorting. He knows what happens. He knows how it works. He really can't be bothered to listen to the explanation again. He just wants to get it done so he can stop wondering.

Finally, she opens the door to let them into the Great Hall.

It's bigger than it looks in the pictures Mother and Father have, and the ceiling twinkles with stars. It's also full of students whose conversations die down when they see the first-years. Sirius catches Regulus's eye at the Gryffindor table and drags all his friends into waving with him, but the hall has mostly fallen into silence as the Sorting Hat is brought out.

This is approximately when Regulus starts to feel nervous.

The Hat starts singing, but he ignores it in favor of running through his options. He'd very much like to be with Sirius and his friends, who are nice enough and certainly not dull. That would mean being in Gryffindor. He doesn't want to be in Hufflepuff, not that he thinks the Hat would put him there. Ravenclaw would be fine, nothing more, nothing less. Regulus is studious because there hasn't been much else to do with Sirius away at school. If that's enough to qualify him as a Ravenclaw, he'll be surprised but accepting.

And Slytherin, well...

Slytherin has Cissy, but it will also definitely have Poppea Rookwood. Slytherin means the redoubling of everyone's eyes on him as the 'proper' Black son. Slytherin means Mother and Father will be pleased, but it also means Regulus will lose his opportunity to do something unexpected. He'll become simply one more Black in a long line of people just like him, surrounded by people who think they know him because they know his family.

Regulus does want to do something unexpected, to beat back the resentment at not knowing how to set himself apart. Of all the houses, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are sure ways of making sure everyone knows he won't be like they thought he was. (People might expect him to be a copy of Sirius if he's Sorted into Gryffindor, but they'd learn otherwise soon enough.)

Thus, his preference is settled. The issue lies in whether he can get himself into Gryffindor.

He's never had the courage to tell off his parents or even talk back to them the way Sirius has. Sirius wasn't nearly that brazen before going to Hogwarts, though. He left as a brash potential Slytherin and came back as a textbook Gryffindor.

Maybe being in Gryffindor is the key to being Gryffindor-like. Regulus just needs to get his foot in the door, then he can learn to be daring.

Wanting Gryffindor despite knowing it'll mean Howlers seems daring enough for now.

Fortunately, his name is early in the alphabet. A few first-years have already been Sorted, but Regulus would be hard-pressed to remember anything about them.

When his name is called, he walks to the stool with as much dignity as he can muster, all too aware of Cissy watching him from one end of the Great Hall and Sirius watching him from the other.

The Hat drops over his eyes, and Regulus steels himself.

"Oh, you're planning to argue with me, aren't you," a voice says in his ear.

_ I'm worried I might have to, _ Regulus thinks.

"Interesting. Well, you just sit tight for a moment while I take a look."

Regulus can't tell if that's a good or bad reaction. He does not tap his foot while he waits, even though he wants to. It wouldn't do for anyone to know he's nervous about this.

The voice chuckles. "I see why you want to argue. There is no doubt, Mr. Black, that you would make a fine Slytherin."

_ Apart from the fact that I don't want to be. _

"Apart from that, yes." It sounds amused. "You're quite right about Hufflepuff. It's not the place for you. You could flourish in Ravenclaw, though, if you wanted to."

Regulus does his best to not sound like a petulant child.  _ I'm sure that's true. However, I'd like to be in Gryffindor. _

"I can see that." Now the Hat sounds considering. "Your brother was quite upset when he was being Sorted, you know. He was sure he'd be forced to go to Slytherin. Of course, I'd rather place people where they're open to learning from their housemates."

It pauses. Regulus tries not to snap at it to stop beating around the bush.

"Yes, the fact remains..." it says slowly. "You already possess the qualities of an excellent Slytherin, and you could fit into Ravenclaw. Gryffindor would be a challenge for you. Your housemates would approach the world in a completely different way. You could adjust, if you were open to it, but it would mean walking a fine line between your innate self and influences from the people around you."

_ Isn't that precisely how 'learning from my housemates' works? _

The Hat sounds satisfied. "Quite right. And I do love putting students where they'll be challenged. Given what you've said in this conversation, I think you'll do well in..." Regulus holds his breath, and the Hat declares, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Relief sweeps through Regulus. He did it. He got out of Slytherin and out of the centuries-long shadow of the House of Black. He's marked himself as different—not unique, not when Sirius got there first, but  _ different. _ He won't be shoehorned into the role of the perfect son anymore. How could he be, in red and gold?

It's like throwing off weights tied to his ankles.

It'll be a shock to his parents, and definitely Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella. Regulus hopes Andy hears about it somehow.

The Great Hall falls silent as Professor McGonagall takes the Hat off, and then the Gryffindor table bursts into cheers.

Regulus doesn't run over to them, but he walks over a little faster than his mother would approve of. Cissy is probably staring at him, but Regulus does not look over at the Slytherin table. He focuses on where he's committed himself for the next seven years. Sirius is standing and shouting something unintelligible, a grin on his face, and his friends are cheering with him. Peter makes space for Regulus next to him, and Regulus smiles at seeing the seat precisely where he wants to be.

The second Black ever to be placed in Gryffindor, where they are loud and brash and have no respect for their families' legacies. Where they aren't cowed by parents or cousins like Bella or portraits telling them what to do. Where they speak up and make their own decisions and don't play mind games for fun.

It sounds frightening and wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait and post a double update on Monday since it's my birthday then, but then I realized that logic made no sense and I'm bad at delayed gratification! So here you go, and there'll be another, longer update on Monday wherein we return to Dealing With Peter Shit.
> 
> thanks for reading!  
> -love, birl<3


	4. Nineteen

Sirius looks peacefully asleep in the guest bedroom. As peaceful as he can be with bandages wrapped around his head, that is.

"I mostly fixed the concussion already, and the blood looks like it's clotted," Lily says. "His brain will adjust to the healing faster if we let him sleep, but I don't think this should wait."

Regulus glances at the sitting room. They've left the door to the guest bedroom open to keep an eye on Peter, who's still unconscious. Remus and his werewolf reflexes are in charge of Stunning him again if he wakes up somehow.

Not that the werewolf reflexes are truly necessary to beat Peter in a duel, unless he's got hidden skills.

Suddenly, Regulus is  _ resentful. _ He's dealt with Peter playing catch-up with far more grace than Peter apparently deserved. He's dealt with healing ridiculous injuries, directing three-quarters of his attention to keeping Peter intact during ambushes, and slowing down for him. Regulus could have spent that time and energy doing so many other things.

He doesn't particularly want to be a brat, but it's easier to resent Peter than acknowledge that Regulus did those things because Peter is—was?—a kind person, soft-hearted, compassionate, the one who alternates with Remus on being the Marauders' moral compass. Remus, for all his opinions on right and wrong, has sharp edges, and Peter never did. Does. Unless they were wrong about him, but how could they be wrong about a twelve-year-old?

No, it's easier to force his thoughts into new patterns, remember Peter as the spare friend, tagging along one step behind, obviously not  _ truly _ one of them if he was capable of turning to Voldemort.

Because that's the real issue. Peter has helped Voldemort. It is a potentially lethal betrayal, regardless of how nice the betrayer might be, and made all the worse by who that betrayer is.

Sirius needs to be awake so they can deal with Peter, so Regulus specifically can make his thoughts and feelings clear to Peter's face. He doesn't particularly want Peter to die, but he wants to make him feel guilty in his bones about what he's done. His bones, and any other crucial body parts that come to mind. His spleen would be an interesting challenge. How would one go about making someone's spleen hurt with guilt?

It appears all this time trying to absorb as much Gryffindor as possible still has not stamped out that Black cruel streak, but that's even more reason to bring Sirius into the discussion, because he'll back Regulus up. Anyway, as far as punishments go, 'you should feel bad for endangering our lives' is tame.

Of course, the possibility of Imperius does remain, even if it's so slim that it might as well be nonexistent. Regulus will let James believe Peter is acting as someone else's puppet for now, if it makes him feel better and trust Regulus's word that something is off. However, Regulus is quite certain that Peter is in his right mind. The best-case scenario is that Peter is either a double agent on the Order's side and somehow didn't see fit to mention it, or he has an  _ extremely _ compelling reason why he had to turn traitor. So compelling, in fact, that Regulus cannot actually think of anything that would suit.

All the more reason to deal with this issue promptly.

"Sirius wouldn't want us to delay," Regulus says.

"Alright then." James pokes Sirius's arm. "Padfoot. Wake up."

After a second, more insistent poke, Sirius groans and slaps a hand over his eyes. "Too bright in here."

Lily closes the curtains, then casts a Muffling Charm. "We have a big problem."

Sirius removes his hand and pushes himself up into a sitting position with a sigh. "Hit me with it." He glances around the room. "Where's Pete?"

"He's not dead," Regulus says.

Sirius's eyes narrow. "But?"

The others turn to Regulus, like he'd thought they might.

He inhales slowly through his nose, and releases the breath once he's sure his composure is in place, with none of the vindictiveness currently clamoring for Regulus's attention. Sirius is going to take this personally, and Regulus doesn't want to fall into that easy vicious cycle that always escalates from airing grievances to plotting physical harm together. Not yet, anyway. "We're quite sure he's the spy."

Sirius blinks. He looks around the room at each of them, maybe searching for a trace of humor.

Then he starts to get up, face twisted. "I'm going to kill him."

"Oi," James says, right as Lily shoves Sirius back onto the bed and Remus says, "I called dibs."

"You did no such thing," Regulus objects. "You said you would kill him, and I said we need him alive until we've wrung out whatever information we can get from him, and then you went to check on Sirius."

"Which I now see you baited me into doing."

"We don't know for sure that it's not the Imperius," James says. "Right, Regulus?"

Regulus nods. "I don't know what it would be like to use Legilimency on someone under Imperius, so I can't rule it out completely." Now that some time has passed since the dive into Peter's mind, and James keeps bringing it up, he's starting to wonder if he could have really missed something.

It might be wishful thinking, but it's worth a try.

"Reg found out?" Sirius says.

Regulus nods.

"Alright." Sirius fixes him with a piercing look, and Regulus mentally prepares for an interrogation. He's always wondered why Sirius's Animagus form isn't a bloodhound, if perhaps one with its priorities bungled—it's less that Sirius sniffs out oddities and more that he decides he's interested in something and won't let it rest until he's satisfied. "Why did you start suspecting Peter? I thought he was your second favorite."

Regulus must look baffled, because Sirius clarifies, "Marauder. After me, of course."

"I would never have something so inane as a ranking." At least, not a formal one, with numbers. And if he did, Peter certainly wouldn't be Regulus's second favorite. He's rather plunged himself into last place.

That's enough for Sirius the bloodhound. "Oh, you definitely do. Who's last? Is it Prongs?"

"Why would it be me?" James says.

"Maybe he can't abide the state of your hair," Remus says.

Lily watches these proceedings with an unimpressed look on her face. "Can I remind everyone that we're dealing with a traitor who is quite literally in the next room? We don't know if he'll wake up from that Stunner on his own, and if he's  _ not _ under Imperius, we don't want to find out the hard way."

Sirius points at Regulus. "We're coming back to this."

"And I am sure it will be a riveting conversation," Regulus replies.

"Obviously. But why Peter?"

Regulus runs through the evidence again, with the addition of the cursed parchment. By the time he's finished, Sirius's face is thunderous. Regulus hopes whatever Slytherin potential was in Sirius as a child is strong enough to take over now. Interrogating Peter seems almost crueler than killing him—he's never been one for confrontation—but it isn't vengeance, which is how Sirius prefers to respond to bad news.

They'll have to sort out that part out later, once Peter has exhausted his usefulness.

"So, a Flagrante on the parchment," Sirius says when Regulus is done. "That's annoying but simple enough. We could break whatever spell's making it look blank, for sure."

"They should've enchanted it to insult whoever touches it instead," James says.

"That's what they get for not recruiting our brilliant minds."

"Don't joke about that," Remus says sharply. "Not with... you know."

Regulus scoffs. His opinion of Peter has always been tinted rosy by virtue of their friendship, by virtue of Regulus being inclined to indulge a few faults and not cut Peter down the way he knows he can. However, Regulus possesses a talent for disdain, and with the information that has come to light, he's not holding back. It's easier. "Relax, Moony. They clearly didn't want brilliant minds if they went for Peter."

Sirius snorts. "No, they wanted someone they could manipulate, and they got him. I doubt any of us are in danger of a surprise Dark Mark."

"Pity," Regulus says. "We could do with a spy. But I suppose none of us would be able to convince Voldemort to trust us. We've done too much damage."

Remus tackles the spells on the parchment while the rest of them start turning the sitting room into the set of an interrogation in grim silence. Sirius pockets Peter's wand as Regulus binds him to an armchair, and James and Lily ward the exits.

"Should we message Dumbledore?" Sirius says when there's little left to do.

"I'll send a Patronus," James says. "Are we requesting he come over, or just informing him?"

"I'd like him to come over," Lily says. "He can probably intimidate Peter into telling the truth better than we can, even if we can do much more effective guilt trips."

"Dumbledore's pretty good at those anyway," Sirius says.

Remus nods. "It's the disappointment in his eyes. It makes my skin crawl."

"When has Dumbledore guilt-tripped you?"

"He hasn't. I saw him do it to Athena Jones when she refused to join the Order." He taps at the parchment with his wand and frowns at the deep purple glow spreading out from the point it touched. "Emotional impact aside, I'd rather he poke around with these jinxes than any of us. The Flagrante's modified and layered on top of whatever concealment charm they used."

"So we foist it off on Dumbledore, then," Sirius says. "Sounds good to me. I'm not in the mood for delicate spellwork."

"When are you ever?" Lily says.

He sighs. "Lils, we were all thinking it, but it defeats the purpose if you just go and say it out loud."

The banter is disconcertingly easy, considering Peter is right there, head slumped forward and body securely attached to the chair. Maybe they've all just gotten used to the cycle of emotional punches to the gut. What is the betrayal of one friend, compared to the deaths of others?

Logically, Regulus knows the answer is quite a lot. Peter isn't just a friend, after all. He's one of them and has been from the beginning. But for now, he plans to stick to his father's advice from years ago: they need to settle their score before they have the luxury of grieving what has been lost.

"I contacted him," James says, and it takes Regulus a moment to remember he means Dumbledore, not Father. There's no reason James  _ couldn't _ send a Patronus to France—Regulus just has no idea why he would. "Kept things vague, but made it clear that he'll want to be here as soon as is physically possible. The wards will let us know when he arrives so we can let him in. Are we ready?"

"Ready as ever, I suppose," Regulus says. Father's voice rings in his head.  _ Keep a tight grip on your anger. _ "All we have to do is wake him up."

"Well, you knocked him out," Lily says. "You can do the honors."

Regulus steps forward, keenly aware that the last time he was this close to Peter, it was to heal him.

He draws his wand.  _ "Rennervate." _

Peter's eyes open slowly, drowsily, head drooping, which makes sense since he still has the Dreamless Sleep in his system.

It doesn't last. He spots the ropes holding him against the chair and jerks upright. "Are you seriously scraping the bottom of the barrel  _ this _ much for pranks?" There's a glint in his eye as he looks around, probably for the usual Serious-Sirius joke.

Then he notices how all of them are standing, facing him with wands out, and the humor vanishes. "What's going on?"

"Funny," Sirius says coolly. "We were going to ask you the same thing."

Regulus breathes in and out. Alright. They're doing this. They're about to question a fellow Marauder about betraying the Order. No matter how it ends, it won't be good for Peter. The Imperius Curse is the absolute best-case scenario, and they probably still wouldn't be able to trust him, just in case it happens again.

He feels too young for this type of thing.

And yet, here he is. "Peter, do you remember the conversation we were having before you fell asleep?"

Peter blinks. "About Remus's birthday? My suggestions weren't  _ that _ bad, were they?" Again, he glances around, but the joke falls flat. "What is this really about?"

"Not that conversation," Regulus says. They might need to take a more aggressive approach if Peter keeps avoiding questions. "The one you and I had about who the spy might be, while I healed your suspiciously minor injuries after a confrontation with two Death Eaters known for inflicting a lot of pain. Do you remember that one?"

Peter freezes for a fraction of an instant, then an accusatory expression slides into place. "'Suspiciously minor'? I didn't see you at the duel. How would  _ you _ know what's suspicious?"

Well. He's already jumped into 'Regulus is the spy, not me.' That was quick. "I saw your memories."

"Right." Peter rolls his eyes. "And you just so happen to be the only Legilimens around, so nobody can even confirm or deny what you say you saw." His gaze skitters over the other people in the room before settling on James. "Was it  _ his _ idea to tie me up, too? And interrogate me? And you just went with it?" He looks hurt. Regulus can't tell if it's real or not.

"You're not the one asking questions," Sirius says.

Regulus has a split second to feel grateful that the others are starting to get involved before Peter scowls. "Oh, I see. Regulus says he saw me doing something bad in my memories, Sirius backs him up unquestioningly, and the rest of you just fall in line." He looks back at Regulus. "Narcissa sweet-talked you into joining them, huh? We all know she's your favorite cousin."

Regulus's stomach drops.

Here it is. The consequence of trying so hard to keep himself and Sirius at the center of the House of Black. Regulus knows he's not at fault— _ he's _ not the one who's been passing information to the Death Eaters, and he hasn't spoken to Narcissa in a while—but he can see it all playing out, Peter wheedling James and Remus and Lily into siding with him, Regulus and Sirius being thrown out if they're lucky.

But then, out of the corner of Regulus's eye, he sees Remus touch Sirius's arm before stepping closer to Peter. "Enough of this. Trying to cast suspicion on others doesn't actually make you look innocent." He tilts his head. "How desperate are you, to try it anyway?"

"Fine. Side with your boyfriend, then," Peter says.

James shakes his head. "Give in, Pete. We want the truth from you, not whatever this is."

That's what makes Peter crumble. The anger falls away, replaced with a deep fear Regulus has never seen from him before. Detention with Filch or getting attacked by Death Eaters apparently has nothing on James asking Peter not to lie to him. "The truth?"

"The whole truth," James says.

Peter swallows and looks at the floor for a long, tense moment. Then resignation, tired and gray, falls around him like a cloak, and he speaks. "The truth is that he tortured me.  _ Tortures _ me."

The room falls dead silent, and Regulus starts to feel a bit lightheaded. There it is. The confession is starting.

"And he would've killed me," Peter says. "He talks about it, still, if he thinks I'm not loyal enough."

James is frowning, and a nasty expression is blooming on Sirius's face. Remus looks impressively neutral, which is menacing in and of itself. Regulus is hoping he looks the same way, just like he's hoping the vague lightheadedness will fade.

Lily has an eyebrow raised and her arms folded. "And what does 'loyal enough' mean?"

Peter gulps. "I've  _ never _ killed anyone. You know I don't believe in that—that blood purity shit. They just ask me for information sometimes. I can't lie. He's a Legilimens, better than Regulus or Dumbledore. He just plucks it out of my head. But he makes it hurt if I don't tell him willingly."

"Information like where the McKinnons' safe house was." She isn't asking a question. Regulus silently hopes that clear-headed, clear-eyed Lily, who doesn't have the same kind of history with Peter as the rest of them, can take over. At least until Dumbledore arrives.

He nods. "I knew they could defend themselves, I knew they'd be okay—"

"Mr. McKinnon barely escaped with his life, they have no home, and Benjy is  _ still _ working on the nerve damage to Marlene's leg," Lily says coldly. "They'd be a lot more 'okay' if you hadn't betrayed them to You-Know-Who."

"He would've killed me if I hadn't," Peter insists. "Is that what you're telling me you want?"

Regulus's knees have locked at some point. He bends them and makes himself breathe slowly. The lightheadedness isn't going away, but it's not getting worse either, and he doesn't want to draw attention to himself and interrupt now that Peter's talking. He can get through this conversation without fainting. He's a Black. His family has been tearing itself apart over Voldemort for years. If he can deal with Bellatrix, he can deal with Peter. Even though he never trusted Bellatrix in the first place.

"It's a war," James says, almost incredulously. "People die. We all knew that was a risk when we joined the Order. Or were you working for You-Know-Who then too?"

Peter stares. "I can't believe this. You're saying the McKinnons losing their house is more important to you than my  _ life." _

"This war is not about you," Remus says. They're closing ranks, shutting Peter out. "Are you telling us you turned our allies over to You-Know-Who to save your own skin?"

Which strikes Regulus as a question that should perhaps be rhetorical. They all know what Peter's done. The difficulty is in reconciling it with their views of their friend.

"I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be like this!" Peter says. "You're all perfectly willing to throw your lives away just to protect Muggles who are never going to be grateful to you. What do you get out of it except a tombstone?"

The room goes very still.

If Peter notices the sudden coldness, he doesn't seem to care. "They're never even going to give a shit because of the Statute of Secrecy, and that's  _ if _ you win, which won't happen, because the Order's not strong enough." His voice rises. "Why are you  _ doing _ this to yourselves?"

"Because it's the right thing to do," Sirius snaps. "You ever think of that before you decided to betray us and risk  _ our _ lives just to keep yourself a little safer? Have the past nine years meant nothing to you?"

"Did they mean anything to you?" Peter says, a little hysterically. "You know, I hoped someone would notice, when I started disappearing to meet with  _ him. _ If I'd told you, he would've known, and it would be a death sentence. I thought one of you would pick something up in time. I tried to delay telling him anything. But none of you noticed."

That's a low, desperate blow, but more than that it's infuriatingly irresponsible. Regulus jumps back in. "Don't blame us for your terrible problem solving skills. You should have gone straight to Dumbledore. Why didn't you?"

Peter glares at him. "Because by the time I realized you wouldn't help me, it was too late."

"Cheap shot  _ and _ blatantly untrue," Sirius says. "You didn't tell anyone, Peter. That's on you. We would've done anything to save you. For fuck's sake, I'm  _ concussed _ because you decided to do a weird secret friendship test instead of just asking for help."

Peter is aggressively silent, jaw clenched and shoulders stiff. Something chimes, and Lily goes to the edge of the wards with her wand out. Dumbledore must be here.

"And part of me wonders if you didn't want help," Sirius continues. He smiles, a humorless thing like a knife slash across his face. "Maybe you jumped ship like the  _ rat _ you are when things started to get difficult and went straight over to You-Know-Who because you thought it would save you, never mind all of us, never mind the innocent people dying because of him."

Peter sucks in a breath like he's been punched, all the tension vanishing in favor of a full-body flinch. Regulus looks at Sirius instead of him, because it's easier. If he doesn't look, if he focuses on what Sirius says and how Peter doesn't reply, then he can remember they're talking to traitor Peter, not kind Peter who almost got attacked by a cat in his Animagus form and shifted back to pet it instead.

Then again, Peter who was so kind was also Peter who let others handle the difficult things, who depended on his friends to drag him into anything requiring effort. James and Sirius had had quite some difficulty convincing him to become an Animagus with them. Peter had complained about Regulus's 'convenient' mandrake allergy through the whole process, never mind that Regulus didn't  _ want _ to be left out.

Peter is good at taking the easy road. Perhaps they'd all foolishly assumed that wouldn't extend to something as important as fighting Voldemort. But now reality pours in.

When Peter doesn't say anything, Sirius's eyes glint with satisfaction.  _ Bloodhound. _ "We aren't babysitters. No matter how much you try to blame us, you made your choice."

That's when Lily returns with Dumbledore, who wastes no time in walking over to where they're clustered. Remus and James obligingly make room.

"Hello, Peter," Dumbledore says. "Do you have anything you'd like to tell me?"

Silence falls.

Regulus takes the opportunity to sit down, relieved. They don't need him standing and looking intimidating now that Dumbledore's here.

He's slightly nauseous, almost seasick. Not enough to be concerned, but enough to be uncomfortable. How long has he been like that? He can't pinpoint one moment.

But he's sitting. That will help.

Occlumency. He needs to Occlude. It'll let him stand back from this conversation, delay the slew of thoughts and emotions and feelings that accompany  _ Peter is the spy, Peter is the spy, Peter is the spy _ until a safe moment.

Regulus exhales, and then he inhales. With the incoming breath he brings up shields in his mind, smooth and clear with glittering edges. It's like the time he tried on James's glasses, but without the blurriness. He sees everything through the lens. After this, when he lets the shields down, his reaction to everything that's happened will hit. For now, he can think calmly, observe without necessarily reacting.

Already, the nausea is starting to fade, and he's noticing every muscle that's been tensed for Merlin knows how long.

Regulus sits the way his mother taught him to, spine straight, shoulders back, as if this cushy armchair is a throne, and he watches the proceedings. With Dumbledore's arrival, everyone else has retreated, clearing out to make a small circle where Dumbledore and Peter are in the center.

"Well?" Dumbledore says. His hands are loosely clasped together, no wand in sight, but Regulus is sure it's somewhere he can grab it easily.

Peter grits his teeth before he lifts his chin and says, "I want out."

"And why is that?"

Regulus would bet the Black fortune that Dumbledore knows exactly why and wants to hear it from Peter anyway. He's very much a teacher in that regard.

"I want no part in this war," Peter says, and Regulus notes that it's an odd time for Gryffindor courage to make an appearance. He wouldn't have expected it, and yet it takes a special type of person to look Albus Dumbledore in the eye and tell him no.

In light of this, Regulus feels differently about Peter. He can't identify the feeling—it's tangled and muddy, so he'll need to take his shields down to inspect it better—but he is quite certain Peter would not have betrayed them, if not for the torture. Dumbledore is intimidating, but he does not inflict physical pain lightly. Voldemort does. Regulus is not sure if this makes him think better of Peter or worse.

He has quite a lot to sort out when this is over.

Dumbledore sounds regretful. "Naturally, I would not ask someone to fight who is unwilling to risk what they must. However, I must ask you to allow me to see your mind. This is, as you say, a war, and I need to know the precise circumstances around your change of heart."

"At least you're  _ asking," _ Peter grumbles. Regulus is aware that is a reference to himself, but he doesn't particularly care. He had good reasons. "Fine. Do your worst."

"None of us wish that," Dumbledore says mildly.  _ "Legilimens." _

There's silence.

"How long does this part take?" Sirius murmurs.

"It depends on how much Dumbledore looks at," Regulus says. "A glimpse is one thing. Properly sorting through memories is another, and that's if Peter doesn't resist."

"What happens if he does?" Remus says.

"Then I expect he'll feel quite uncomfortable." Peter can't be anywhere near accomplished at Occlumency, if the ease with which Regulus got into his mind is any indication. That means that even if he knows how to raise shields, they're unlikely to stand up to Dumbledore, and broken shields are a quick way to a splitting headache.

"Hm. I'm fine with that, actually," Sirius says.

"I don't know what to be fine with," James says. "When's the last time any of us talked to someone who  _ wasn't _ fighting in the war?"

Remus and Lily both shrug. Sirius says, "I bought groceries yesterday and the clerk told me to have a nice day."

James nods as if this proves his point. "And it's not like you stopped for a chat, is it? I guess leaving is Peter's only real option, but... I don't know if I'll ever see him again and I don't know how to feel about that."

"Horrible but glad," Lily says quietly.

"Yeah."

"Relieved and a bit disappointed," Remus says.

"That too."

"Incredibly pissed off but too busy to deal with it right now," Sirius says.

"Hence the disappointment," Remus says.

Apparently Peter's betrayal has done quite a number on Remus. The full moon was a few days ago, so it's not unlike him to be more bloodthirsty than usual, especially given how much the war threatens his people on a daily basis, but normally he hides it well.

Regulus becomes aware that they're looking at him expectantly. Right, they all shared their feelings, and he hasn't yet, with good reason. It's difficult to do with shields up. Even identifying simple emotions is mostly guesswork. He feels them so distantly that he doesn't know much more than 'this is good' or 'this is bad.' Sometimes 'this is complicated.' "I have no plans to be in touch with my emotions until this whole debacle is over."

Wait. That was possibly the wrong way to phrase it.

James frowns in mock thought. "Those words sound  _ so _ familiar, but I can't recall where I've heard them before."

"I don't need Legilimency to know that's a lie." Regulus doesn't actually feel it, but he knows he hates this story. Not because it's  _ particularly _ embarrassing, but because James and Sirius wouldn't stop repeating it for two weeks straight and James's impression of how Regulus speaks is a little too spot-on. There is no need to repeat it yet again.

Remus latches on to the topic change immediately, probably because Dumbledore and Peter are stock still in the center of the room and watching them is both boring and very bad, even through Occlumency. "Prongs, you know perfectly well it was outside Madam Puddifoot's."

Even Lily knows the story. "Oh, that time you went to Hogsmeade with Caroline Johnson?"

James sticks his nose in the air and says, in that voice that is still too accurate, "' _ It was against my better judgment. _ '"

"She was very nice," Regulus says, just like he does every time.

"Oh, yes," Sirius says. "So nice that you called on us to rescue you after holding hands with her for three minutes."

"It wasn't her fault." Regulus takes the risk of letting his Occlumency shields retreat halfway. He feels much better, and not much is happening on the Peter front, and if he's Occluding he will lack the necessary vehemency for the point he wants to make. "She simply had the misfortune of being the final proof that I want nothing to do with that sort of thing, and she was very understanding of the need to escape that frilly monstrosity of a tea shop and never mention it ever again, unlike  _ some people." _

"I heard she's with a Ravenclaw now," Lily says. "At least, Dorcas says her brother said so."

"She didn't tell me that," Remus says.

Lily shrugs with a smirk. "Well, you weren't part of the slumber party that night in which all the Gryffindor girls in sixth and seventh year ruthlessly mocked each other's dates, so that makes sense. We're all bonded for life now."

James looks alarmed. "The what?"

"I don't think we want to know," Regulus says.

Sirius grins. " _ I _ do."

"If I could interrupt," Dumbledore says, and the lightness of the conversation vanishes.

Regulus yanks his shields back into place.

Dumbledore looks tired. That's not good. Behind him, Peter is scowling, Regulus assumes because his head hurts. Legilimency does that even to unresisting minds—the amount of pain correlates directly to the amount of resistance, but it's always present. Occlumency builds tolerance, but mainly it gets people accustomed to headaches.

"I will take the parchment," Dumbledore says. "It is a time-activated Portkey to a location Mr. Pettigrew does not know."

Remus levitates it over to him. "Careful of the Flagrante."

"Thank you." He conjures a drawstring bag and slides it around the parchment. "There is also the matter of what to do about Mr. Pettigrew himself."

Ah. It's good that Regulus has his shields up.

"He cannot remain a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and he has expressed a desire to no longer be involved in the war. However, he will not be safe in Britain." Dumbledore turns to Peter. "I can assist you in going into hiding overseas, where Death Eaters cannot find you."

Peter looks tense. "What do I have to do?"

"Two things for me, then you may pack your bags and be spirited away to a safe place." Dumbledore looks at Peter closely, then nods. "First, you will tell me all you know about the Death Eaters and provide memories as requested."

"Fine."

He smiles. "Thank you. Second, you will swear an Unbreakable Vow to never knowingly or willingly aid Voldemort."

"I didn't do it willingly in the first place," Peter says.

"Mr. Pettigrew, I believe you have realized that you had options. I, in turn, have realized there are some things I cannot trust to chance." Dumbledore tucks the drawstring bag into one sleeve and looks very, very old. "I permitted my own sentimentality to cloud my judgment. I will not do so again. Will you agree to my conditions?"

Peter squeezes his eyes shut, then opens them. He looks ragged. "Yes."

"Then I suggest you say goodbye, so that we may begin."

Hm.

What does one say to a close friend of eight years who betrays them and is about to leave the country to keep from causing any more damage?

That's not a question Regulus can answer with his shields up, but he's not sure it's one he can answer with them down, either.

"Goodbye," Peter says eventually. "For what it's worth... I'm sorry."

Regulus cannot think of a single thing to say to that.

He's sure it's true. The question is whether it's enough.

After a long silence, James says, "We know, Peter. Just..." He sighs. "Stay hidden, yeah? You'll be safer."

"Yeah," Peter says.

Sirius tosses him his wand. "You'll need that."

"Right. Thanks." He stares at the wand in his hand, then looks up at them, and for one long, stretching moment Regulus thinks he's going to say something else. But finally he nods and turns to Dumbledore. "I'm ready."

Dumbledore leads him to the door.

It clicks shut behind them.

And Peter's gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp there he goes
> 
> also, quick poll: should i tag this fic as peter pettigrew bashing? because that's a tag that i saw on a fic once and while i'm attempting to make peter an understandable, if incredibly frustrating, person (and naturally he's in like all the hogwarts chapters and is significantly more sympathetic there), i have no idea if that qualifies as bashing. opinions/thoughts welcomed!!
> 
> i have the next few chapters written but after that point we get to the chapters i'm writing out of order, so for now i'm gonna keep to updating approximately once per week, which will probably remain the case unless i either can't keep up with that or finish the fic when i still have a bunch of chapters left to post. normally they'll probably be later in the week (wednesday-ish), this is just coming on monday because it is my birthday present to all of you!
> 
> thank you for reading!  
> -love, birl<3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! My tumblr is @keratonin if anyone wants to yell at/with me about this fic. Or anything else, really.
> 
> -love, birl<3


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